Personal Development- The 3 Word Approach to Mommy Evaluations

Superior athletes receive the MVP award. Oscars are given to the best actors and actresses. Business owners can earn a designation of “Entrepreneur of the Year”. It’s not just humans that have an opportunity to shine. I’ve seen articles on the top best cities to live in, and the 100 best companies for working mothers. How often have you received the “Best Mom of the Year” award? I’ve never received that award, and I’m a good mom. As a matter of fact, most of the time, as moms, we don’t receive a whole lot of positive feedback. We have one of the most important jobs in the world, but our efforts often go unnoticed.

When I first started speaking, I would hand out evaluation sheets and ask the audience members to rate me as a speaker. There was a rating scale from 1 to 5, and I wanted participants to rate the presentation content, how well I delivered the material, whether or not the talk was relevant to their life, and several other measurable items. Although it can certainly be useful to see how others view us, as moms, it is not always feasible or practical to have others fill out a mommy evaluation sheet on us.

Can you imagine the look on your children’s face if you said, “Okay kids, I have a form I need for you to fill out for me?” “In thinking about how I did today as a mom, please rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 in the following areas: patience, kindness, provided unconditional love, made good meals, kept the house clean, fun playmate, etc.” They would probably think you’ve lost your mind, so let’s nix that idea.

Instead, let’s use the three word approach to doing self-evaluations. We don’t have to wait for others to tell us we’re doing a great job – we can provide our own feedback. We don’t need awards when we can recognize our own accomplishments. Today, as a speaker, I don’t hand out evaluation forms. I do my own evaluation by listening and watching the audience, recording my talks for playback, and asking myself if I met my three objectives. Did I inspire the audience to think differently, take action and experience growth? These are my three words (or sets of words) for measuring my success as a speaker.

We can use the same approach as moms. Here are four ways to use the three word approach to doing mommy evaluations.

What 3 words describe who you want to be as a mom?
When you think of yourself as a mom at your very best, what 3 words come to your mind? Who do you want to be? A lot of us would probably say “loving”. Some of us might say “patient”. At my very best, I want to be “accepting”. I want my children to know I love them unconditionally, regardless of the choices they make for their life. I want them to have the freedom to be who God created them to be. What are the 3 most important gifts of being do you want to give to your children?

What 3 words describe who you were as a mom today?
At the end of every day, ask yourself what 3 words best describe you as a mom? If you had a rough day, you might say “angry”. That’s okay – it is still honest and important feedback that is necessary for change. If you felt on top of the world today, you might describe yourself as “joyful”. This feedback is even more important to recognize. This is the praise we often crave as moms, and you can now give it to yourself.

What 3 words describe your areas of opportunity as a mom?
If I were to honestly disclose my areas of opportunity, I would use the words “consistency”, “spoiling” and “fun”. I would like to be more consistent with my approach to discipline, avoid spoiling my children, and make a bigger commitment to having more fun with them. Am I still a good mom even when I don’t do everything exactly the way I would want? Absolutely, but I have a constant dedication to continually grow. In what areas do you need to grow?

What 3 words describe your strengths as a mom?
As an employee of an organization, we often receive evaluations that point out our strengths. As a mom, you are a leader of a very important organization – a family. What 3 words describe the strengths you bring to your family? My good friend Donna is “fun”. Her crazy and energetic personality brings energy and laughter to her family. Rather than focus on your perceived weaknesses as a mom, remind yourself of the blessings you are providing your family.

You can wait for your children or other people to tell you you’re a good mom, or wait for Mother’s Day to see how much you are appreciated. Or you can use the three word approach to doing daily mommy evaluations. This way you have immediate feedback and can reward yourself for a job well done!

Lori Radun, CEC – The Mom Coach? is a certified life coach and inspirational speaker for moms. To receive The FREE Mom Coach? newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children”, visit her website at http://www.true2youlifecoching.com