| There
are, no doubt, things your children do that really push
your buttons. When your buttons are being pushed, there
is a knee-jerk reaction that causes immediate feelings
of anger or irritability. So, does this just go with the
territory of being a mom? It doesn't have to. Our children
can only push buttons that exist.
I asked
my friend what her daughter does that really pushes her
buttons. This is what she shared: "I think I am most triggered
by Megan not listening to me the first time and all the
questions she has about why I said NO or why I said she
cannot do something. She is very smart and will try to
get me to say yes by changing her requests, little by
little until I change my mind."
A lot
of moms would look at the surface of this issue and believe
the trigger is about disobedience. But to explore our
hot buttons and discover why we have the reactions we
do, we must dig a little deeper for the answer. After
looking at the root issue in this situation, my friend
said this:
"I think
the main reason I get triggered, or have a reaction to
Megan not listening to me the first time, goes back to
my childhood where I felt I was NEVER listened to. I felt
that my family members rarely gave me a chance to speak
and if I did say anything, I was almost always rejected
for what I had to say."
The anger
my friend feels is more at her parents than it is her
daughter. It is completely normal for a four year old
to question and try to manipulate mom to get her way.
How you respond as a mother depends on your life experiences
and the beliefs you hold. The next time you find yourself
feeling reactive to your children, explore the origin
of your buttons and grow through them. |
