True To You

Personal Development

Coaching Corner - 4 Misconceptions About Needs

Smell the Coffee and the Cookies Too!

One Minute Coaching Corner

2/14/07

Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Care - Schedule a Discovery Session

This Valentine's Day, give yourself the gift of self- care. To know and embrace your true self in all areas of your life is a goal worth striving for. Why not live your best life?

By scheduling a 60 minute discovery session, you will:

Determine your level of satisfaction in 8 major areas of life
Evaluate how well you are honoring your inner life and your true self
Decide what changes you would like to focus on
Set S.M.A.R.T. goals to faciliate these changes
Create some action steps to help you move forward

Your Cost: $40.00 (60% Savings)

Call (630) 236-7142 today to schedule your session with Coach Lori! Since coaching is conducted over the telephone, no client is too far away!

The Four Misconceptions About Needs

Some of us have a need to be accepted, while others have a need for peace. Some people have needs for safety, power, or accomplishment. You might have a need to be loved, while your spouse may have a need for recognition. We all have personal needs that most of us try, consciously or not, to get met. Personal needs are things we must have in order to be our best. You can survive without having your needs met, but if you want an effortless, rewarding, and successful life, your personal needs must be identified, addressed and handled.

There are four misconceptions about needs that I typically hear from women:

1. I am too needy. There is no such thing as being too needy, just like you can’t say I’m too hungry. Sometimes when we feel “too needy”, it’s merely a sign that we are starving to have our needs met. It could be there are old wounds that need to be healed. When those past hurts have been addressed, you will naturally need less. Other times, feeling “too needy” can mean you are uncomfortable with your needs. Some women don’t feel worthy of having their needs met. So when that need to be cared for or the need to be acknowledged creeps us, we push it away with a declaration that we’re “too needy”.

2. My needs are not important. By nature, most women are nurturing and our tendency is to put other people’s needs before our own. This, in and of itself, is not bad, unless you are ignoring your needs. While you may assert that your needs are important, at the end of the day, you retire once again, without having your own needs met. You spend your time meeting the needs of those around you, and wonder why there isn’t time for you. Our needs are just as important as anyone’s needs, and we have to take responsibility for getting those needs met.

3. People who love me should know what my needs are. While some of us may be attuned to meeting other people’s needs without being asked, most of us aren’t mind readers. It is important to communicate your needs and be comfortable asking people to meet them. If you need a hug, ask for one. Let people you love know that you need your feelings acknowledged, instead of trying to fix you. I recently spoke to a single mom who needed some extra support from her church small group, and she wasn’t getting it. It wasn’t that this group was not capable of meeting her need; they were not aware she had this need. As you work to get your needs met on a consistent basis, the need will virtually disappear.

4. One earthly person should be able to meet all my needs. As human beings, we all have limits as to how much we can give to another person before we are depleted. In addition, God created us all different from one another. While some people may be great listeners, others are great talkers. Some of us are very affectionate, while others may be more reserved. We need a network of people in our support circle. Be conscious about what your needs are and seek out people who are good at meeting your specific needs. By spending regular time with God, He can be your number one source for meeting all your needs.

Ask The Mom Coach

Here is an opportunity for you to be coached on some issue of your choice. Simply submit your question to me and I will feature 1 to 2 questions per month in the next issue. Chances are if you are experiencing difficulty, other moms are too. So let's learn from each other. P.S. I will answer the questions in the order in which I receive them from all of you.

Keep the questions coming!

Q. How do you become a life coach? Amy M.

A. To become a life coach, it is advised that you complete a coach certification program that is fully accredited by the International Coaching Federation. The ICF is the governing body that oversees the entire industry. On their website, they have a list of schools that offer certification programs. The process will vary from school to school, but you can expect 6-9 months of training that consists of learning coaching skills, teleclasses, peer coaching, reading several books, written exam, and an oral coaching exam. The cost varies as well, but it will be somewhere between $6,000 and $10,000.

Q. How do I go about getting my husband to understand that we need to stop spending and pay off bills without fighting? I'm the one who pays all the bills and controls the checkbook and it's NOT an option to have him do this as it is a skill he has never done nor is he willing to learn. Brenda K.

A. As hard as it might be to hear, we can't make anybody do anything they aren't willing to do on their own. One thing you could try is to approach the subject with him from your heart. Explain to him how important it is to you that you feel financially secure. Ask him if he would please sit and pay bills with you. He doesn't have to learn the process of paying bills - just try to understand where all the money is going. If that doesn't work, try suggesting you attend a class together on budgeting and handling your money. Maybe if he hears things from an outside source, he might be more willing to accept the reality of handling your money wisely. Check out the Budget in a Binder link in this newsletter.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Lori Radun, CEC

True to You Life Coaching, LLC

email: lori@true2youlifecoaching.com

phone: (630) 236-7142

web: http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com