Family and Parenting

December 2004 - The Busy Mom, Is It Your Choice?

Dear Reader,

Tis the season for craziness and stress. It is also a time of great joy and fun traditions with the family. Amidst the hustle bustle, don't forget to take the time to relax and take care of yourself. As the New Year approaches, we all start thinking about our New Year's resolutions. How do you want your life to be different in 2005? In January, I will be doing a fun and interactive 2 hour workshop titled "Your Energizer Bunny® - Don't Let the Batteries Die! - Eliminate and Replace the Energy Drainers in your Life". Look for details in this month and next month's newsletter.

Smell the Coffee and the Cookies too! is a newsletter designed to help you integrate and improve all facets of your life. Before we can be great moms, we have to be the very best we can be to ourselves. My goal with this newsletter is to support moms by sharing ideas based on my expertise and my 20 year long journey of personal growth. The success of this newsletter depends on you and what you want to hear, so please share with me topics you would like to see covered in future issues. My e-mail address is lori.radun@sbcglobal.net and my phone number is (630) 236-7142. I look forward to hearing from you.

If there is interest for 2005, I thought about adding an "Ask the Coach" section to this newsletter. Every month, I would feature one reader's question (or more if this is popular) with my response, of course. I would like to be able to share challenges and ideas to overcome them with other moms. After all, we are all on this journey together. So please forward any question or challenge you may be having as a mom to me. I will respond to all questions, and feature one or two next month.

If you know of others who may wish to receive this e-newsletter, please direct them to our website at www.true2youlifecoaching.com, where they can subscribe, or feel free to forward the e-newsletter to them.

Have a very Happy Holiday and we'll talk next year!

Lori

Quote of the Month:

Peace, like charity, begins at home.

--Franklin D. Roosevelt

The busy mom - is it your choice?

Let’s face it. We live in a fast paced world. As moms, it is hard to keep up with everything on our plates. We have piles of laundry, piles of dishes, and piles of school papers. Along with the many errands we have to run, we also play chauffer for our children. It may be martial arts on Monday, soccer practice on Tuesday and music lessons on Wednesday. Weekends may be even worse with baseball games, gymnastics meets or ballet lessons. And it doesn’t end there. Many of us also try to squeeze in time to volunteer at school and church because we know they need help.

When life is too busy, stress increases and adrenaline levels rise. Eventually, our bodies begin to tell us we are in trouble. Common problems of an over-stressed lifestyle include physical illness, disease, anxiety and depression. Our bodies can handle only so much before they scream STOP! Relationships may also suffer, as everyone becomes tired and irritable. Children, who are over extended may not be able to communicate their stress in words, but tantrums, fighting and other unacceptable behavior may all be warning signs.

People who try to handle too much often become disorganized and forgetful. (Have you ever searched everywhere for something you just saw yesterday? Or remembered an appointment – three days late?) My husband and I are perfect examples. I was scheduled to attend a teleclass on Monday: on Wednesday it dawned on me that I had forgotten all about it. Last week my husband returned home twice after leaving for work. The first day he forgot his briefcase; the next day, he forgot his samples. Today he forgot his suit jacket. It really is a vicious circle. Every time we have to take time to return home or worry about things we have forgotten, stress levels increase even more.

For many of us, volunteering becomes a time-stealing trap. Don’t hear me wrong. Volunteering is a great thing. Our world needs volunteers, and volunteering is very rewarding. It is also our responsibility to teach our children the importance of community service. But moms overwhelmed with volunteer work may be over scheduling themselves at the expense of their families and themselves. When people identify a kindhearted person, who likes to help, they may take advantage. It is easier to approach that type of person than one who is never willing to volunteer. Volunteering is important, but keeping our lives balanced is more important. Expect others to do their share, but when they do not, do not step in for them. Knowing when to say no is as important as knowing when to say yes.

How wonderful it would be to have a magical machine with the ability to create peace in the midst of chaos. With this machine life would be slower and we would feel like we have all the time in the world. If I had this machine I know what my life might look like: I wake up 15 minutes early every day to meditate and pray. I have time to spend on laundry and housecleaning because there is nothing on my schedule. My children have time to relax and play because they have eliminated many of their extracurricular activities. Each night my family sits down to dinner together and shares the best parts of their day. One night of the week is designated as family game night. Saturday night is date night and the children enjoy their babysitter. Everyone in the family is happier and less stressed. Real connections with loved ones exist.

Is this a “Fantasy Island” that can never be reached? No it is not. In fact, no magical machine is needed. We all have the power to create any kind of life we want. We can transform our stressful lives into more relaxed and enjoyable ones. We may have to rearrange our priorities. We may have to make some hard choices – eliminating some of the activities and responsibilities we once believed were necessary. We may have to develop new habits or change old attitudes. But it can be done. Change is not always easy, but isn’t a happier less stressful life worth it? Think about this: The lives we model today will probably be the types of lives our children live as adults. We do have a choice. Let’s try to choose wisely.

Take Action Assignment

This month I encourage you to take an inventory of your life. We all have, in our life, things that we want to do and things that we feel we have to do. Make a list of all the "want tos" in your life (include the things you aren't yet doing). Make another list of all the "have tos" in your life. Pay close attention to these lists and answer the following questions:

1. What "have tos" can be eliminated from your life?

2. What "have tos" can you change your attitude about so they become "want tos"?

3. What "want tos" are you currently not doing, and how can you make time for those things?

Post your lists so you can see them this month. This will help you to stay conscious about what you really want in life.

Fun Corner

Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas by having special family time each day. Here are some ideas for you to consider, or make up your own:

December 14th (Day 1) - Make Christmas decorations for the windows

December 15th (Day 2) - Bake Christmas cookies

December 16th (Day 3) - Watch a classic Christmas movie ("The Polar Express" is awesome!)

December 17th (Day 4) - Do a Bible devotional on "Giving"

December 18th (Day 5) - Sit around the tree and sing Christmas carols

December 19th (Day 6) - Exchange gifts that cost nothing but love and time

December 20th (Day 7) - Make hot chocolate and toast marshmallows over a fire

December 21st (Day 8) - Read a heartwarming Christmas story

December 22nd (Day 9) - Play a game (Think of a word associated with Christmas for every letter of the alphabet)

December 23rd (Day 10) - Give each person a turn to tell each family member what they love about them

December 24th (Day 11) - Have a special Christmas breakfast together (green eggs, ham and eggnog)

December 25th (Day 12) - Celebrate Jesus' birthday! (or Christmas the way you view it)

Resources

The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg (book for young and old)

The movie is in theaters now!

Bear Stays Up for Christmas by Karma Wilson (book for young children)

The Christian Origin of the Twelve Days of Christmas - A Children's Activity Book by Beth Dobrozsi

Find out more...

Life Coaching can...

Improve your Relationships, Encourage and Teach Self-Care, Help You Balance Your Life, Help You Achieve Your Goals, De-clutter Your Life, Minimize Your Stress, Maximize Your Time, and Support You Through Life Transitions.

If you would like to find out more about how coaching can change your life, please visit my website at www.true2youlifecoaching.com. Give yourself the gift of emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health!

Please call (630) 236-7142 to set up an appointment for your COMPLIMENTARY coaching session.

This e-mail is being sent to you because you subscribed to my e-newsletter. Please be assured that your name and e-mail address will be kept completely confidential.

To unsubscribe, please send an e-mail to lori.radun@sbcglobal.net and type UNSUBSCRIBE on the subject line, or visit our website at www.true2youlifecoaching.com, click on the "Smell the Coffee" masthead, and unsubscribe to this ezine.