Spirituality

"Our fear cancels our faith - but if we choose to take the risk of faith - we soon learn that it was our fears that were the real risk. Faith is a choice!"

--Dr. Gary V. Carter

Last week, I sat at my computer and watched the MSN video clip that recapped Ashley Smith's encounter with Brian Nichols. As I watched in awe, I was amazed by her amazing faith in God. I asked myself, "If I were in that situation, would I have the courage to speak out about my faith?" Would I have enough love in my heart for this man who just killed 4 people?

I could really relate to this story because my church is just finishing up a "40 Days of Purpose" series, based on Rick Warren's book, The Purpose-Driven Life. One of the purposes of our life is to speak out about our faith in God to anyone who may need to hear it. Since I believe spirituality is such an important part of living a peaceful, balanced and fulfilling life, I am going to take on that challenge this month and speak to you.

When I think about why we need God in our life, several important reasons come to mind.

We need to understand our Creator. God made each one of us, and there are no two people alike in this world. If we think about it, that is pretty amazing. As moms, we can sometimes be very hard on ourselves. We complain about the way we look. We feel we don't have enough intelligence, creativity, or athletic ability. But we need to remember that God didn't make a mistake when He made us. He made us exactly the way we are for a reason and He loves us completely. So why shouldn't we start loving ourselves?

We need God's grace. About a month ago, my three year old was going through a phase of fighting his naps. It was the third day in a row that he wouldn't take a nap. I was tired and needed a break, and he refused to stay in his bed. My anger was increasing every time I put him on his pillow, and he crawled back down. By the fourth time of him testing me, I broke. I angrily spanked his bottom as he fought to hit me back. I looked at him and meanly said, "You are staying in your bed." Exasperated, I shut his door and I was hit with overwhelming feelings of guilt. I knew I didn't handle the situation with love and I immediately cried out to God for forgiveness. I know that my God had grace and was forgiving. It took me much longer to forgive myself, but it was His grace that enabled me to hold my son in my arms and apologize to him.

God is the best friend you will ever find. When was the last time you were upset and picked up the phone to call your earthly best friend, only to find she or he was unavailable? When was the last time you called on God and He was unavailable? Never. God provides more than any human being could ever offer. He gives unconditional love, complete presence, total acceptance, perfect advice, and 24 hour availability. Wow! I don't know about you, but I wish I could be that kind of friend.

We need God's example to teach our children. This world is filled with every kind of challenge imaginable. Maybe I don't remember growing up as well as I think I do, but it sure seems harder to raise children in this day and age. Violence in movies and video games, sexual molestation and promiscuity, guns in schools, increase in drug use, and broken homes are just some of the struggles we face. Christ is a model for us to live by and teach our children. It is through Him that we learn how to love one another and live a life of integrity. With God's help, we can be the kind of mother our children need to grow and feel loved. By following His example, our children learn to love, to forgive, to experience joy, to trust, to be faithful, and to feel hope in times of need.

Motherhood is joyful, but also difficult. We can't go through this alone. So I encourage you to reach out to family, friends, your community, and especially to God. Share your joy, your anger, and your tears. I guarantee you He will always be by your side.

This month I encourage you to write a letter to God. Tell Him all about your struggles as a mom. Tell Him what you want for your children. Give Him thanks for all your blessings. Ask Him to teach you love and patience. Ask Him for guidance in your marriage and your life.

Q. When my husband comes home from work, all I want to do on those "bad" days is leave so that I can recharge. Right now what I do is pretend he isn't home yet. Resentment still follows, or sometimes a glass of wine to loosen me up. (I don't like that I do that.) Help me find a way to not build that resentment and give him the time he needs.

A. It is perfectly understandable that you would feel resentment because you are not getting time for yourself. As moms, we can't be expected to run on empty without filling ourselves back up. It certainly sounds like your husband is wound up and stressed as well. Both of you have very important jobs to do, and you both need time to nurture yourself. I would suggest sitting down with your husband and having a long talk about how you have been feeling. You need to work together to come up with a regular schedule that allows time for both of you. Perhaps you have certain evenings that you can leave for an hour or two to unwind, and vice versa. Select activities that totally relax and fulfill you. If your husband is unable to support you with this time, then you need to hire a babysitter so you can get away. Put the guilt behind you and give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Not only will it benefit you and your husband, but you will be a better mom and will teach your children a valuable lesson about taking time for yourself.

What life issues are you struggling with? Ask Coach Lori.

Surprise your husband! Surprise your kids! Do the unexpected.

• Play video games with your kids
• Wear lingerie to bed
• Let your kids stay in their pajamas all day
• Declare a no chores weekend!
• Breakfast in bed for everyone
• Serve ice cream and cake for dinner (carrot cake for veggies)
• Leave a trail of chocolate kisses throughout the house
• Spontaneous date night
• Let Dad sleep until noon or nap all day
• Give yourself the day off and do nothing all day!

For the months of March and April, I am running a contest to help promote this newsletter. Here are the rules:

For every two people you refer that become subscribers to this ezine, you will receive a "True to You" Things to Do pad of paper and a raffle ticket to win a FREE book of your choice ($25.00 limit).

In addition, the subscriber that refers the most new subscribers will win a million dollars (just kidding). Seriously, that person will win a $25.00 gift certificate to a local restaurant of their choice.

The contest runs from March 1, 2005 through April 30, 2005.

Please submit the names of the people you are referring and I will watch for them to subscribe to this newsletter.

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True to You Life Coaching, LLC coaches moms to live peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives by connecting to their authentic selves, identifying and achieving goals, and making lasting changes in their lives.

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